I continue to be impressed with the level of sadness I feel when my small amount of time with my children is taken away.
We don’t do that much, I can’t afford much after the divorce, I didn’t want to go to war and I didn’t prepare for it.
I figured over time my kids, like me would sense the difference in the households and make their own choices.
Sadly, that’s not exactly what has happened and I feel sad for them. I get few weeks of vacation with them and every other week because I gave up my week on week off in an attempt to keep them out of the conflict. All that did was remove the further from me and embark my Ex on some weird trip to try and schedule as many other activities on my time as possible. My son is perpetually booked on Boy Scout expeditions (Only on my time, I ask if he has any trips or fun stuff coming up on his Mom’s time…. The answer is always: No). My daughter has been conned into multiple “college” or “work” opportunities. I tried to get them for my two week of Summer Vacation, oh! Too slow! Samantha has to work as a life guard! Very important! Not important when it’s her Mom’s vacation time, not important when she’s booked $5k exotic summer vacations for Max and Sam. Just important enough — more important than time with you. The kids are fully aware of this game, they don’t get it quite yet. My solution is not to worry about it and state clearly from here on out I am taking the LAST TWO WEEKS of Summer — Don’t schedule or allow anything to be scheduled. I doubt it will work, even that simple request will be overridden one way or the other. Even so, I was supposed to have them for the next three weekends! I was excited! I planned multiple movies and just fun stuff. Not trips to Disney Land mind you but the stuff I thought we’d enjoy. Surprise! Max is going on a camping expedition! Oh and Sam has a once and a life time opportunity to become a fully certified life guard if only she works the next three weekends! Oh! Never mind the obvious: The pools are only open during summer, the moment you have a real job Life Guarding won’t matter. I guess almost anything is more important than time over here… It makes me sad and worse I know over time Max and Sam will not only come to regret it but resent the con their mother pulled on them.
So, I have sadly decided to move on from worrying about scheduling or planning and will look to fill my life with the other people I love and have helped raise. They appreciate what I do and the kind and gentle way I handle myself. I will always silently weep for my Max and Sam. Maybe one day and long time from now we will be able to have the relationship I wanted and worked for, but not while their mother is hell bent on her plan. The only word that rings through my head when I think of this: Sadness.