So this year started out two weeks ago. I guess I should back track a bit. I’ve given up my regular parenting time with my kids in favor of their extracurricular activities. My Ex has continues to lobby Max and Sam exceptionally well. It’s a subtle game, start with offering the children an activity then once the interest is generated add a bit of doubt, well your Dad my not want you too. Follow all this up with a combined front, e-mail me about the activity after you’ve already got the child interested and have the kid ask directly. I am tired of being the bad guy. So instead of saying no, or fighting, I simply said to the children: If you want to do these activities I will have to give up my parenting time, I will have less time with you. They were both very happy, I was not, they didn’t really understand what they were loosing and all they saw was the activity if front of them. As an added bonus my Ex bombarding me e-mails of bills, school supplies and what the game plan is for all the activities they have signed up for. The e-mail chain is below… I never did receive a response to the final e-mail. Fast forward to two weeks ago. This year is an even year, and it’s Christa’s birthday year with the kids and even though the parenting agreement has been violated on both sides I like to keep the holiday and parenting schedule consistent. Sam awkwardly tries to invite us to a birthday party at Encanto Park across the street from their Mother’s home. Tanasha defers to me and say I don’t think we will be going to that, but we need to ask your Dad. I tell her flat out that, no we cannot go to the event because of the accusations that have been made in court. I really enjoy a person who spend their time acting nice and then files nasty completely unsupported accusations. So the conversation ends, oddly on Sunday Max’s makes mention of being here on his birthday. This confuses me a bit, first Sam says there’s going to be a big party and now Max is saying he’s coming over here. I send an e-mail for clarification from my non-co-parent. It gets long and involved. Apparently everyone in my family is available in Christa’s opinion to drop everything to take the kids to whatever activity she has planned. I also cautioned here to keep the anger and hatred away from the kids. So it makes perfect sense when I get a call from Max, our son, who wants to know if he can just come over here on Friday and have me take him to football and have his birthday. As soon as I started the conversation with, son, it’s your Mom’s year. He starts yelling at me, I couldn’t make out what he said but it ended with him hanging up the phone. Then the text messages begin:
Max:
I’m done. I stand up for you but you say that Mom’s the problem when really your just trying to make me betray Mom so if I hear that again I’m calling Mom and she going to pick me up. Also don’t say you want time with me when you only sleep, eat, play games and you sleep more by the way its actually Mom whos able to pick the party this year. what I noe also want for my birthday is my old Dad. I’m done fighting. Also I think you game me a cupcake because you thought I was dumb like a puppy. Now I’m going to say this again dig a hole and sit there to think.
Me:
Son. I’m sorry you’re hurting. You go ahead and stick with Mom and don’t betray her. I know you can’t understand whats going on and Mom has told you time and time again I’m a jerk. I certainly don’t do everything right or the way you want. Someday maybe you will remember there are more people than just you or your mother.
Max:
what did that say and.
Me:
Son. I’m sorry you’re hurting. You go ahead and stick with Mom and don’t betray her. I know you can’t understand whats going on and Mom has told you time and time again I’m a jerk. I certainly don’t do everything right or the way you want. Someday maybe you will remember there are more people than just you or your mother.
Max:
Yes I know there’s more people but you always say moms the problem. Now here’s the deal don’t call or text me again until you realize what I feel.
Me:
I’ve never said your Mom’s the problem. In fact I’ve kept quiet to you two as best I can. Every bad thing you’ve learned has come from what your mother has shared with you. I have put up with a lot and I am done. This is the last communication I will have with you until you go see the therapist Dr. Yee recommended.
Max:
Yeah right I know you might ask to take notes from him and I’m not calling you either until you learn to call me not to let me call you.
Also you have 2 sons so guess what there my replacements and right now your not my true dad. what im saying is your not the dad you used to be when I said your not my true dad. im sorry for calling you a beep I’m just angry with you.
Me:
I am not engaging like this. you are being nasty. No matter what I love you and there is no substitute for my Max.
I cannot even fathom how I am supposed to cope or approach this…. I shouldn’t a therapist should, but Christa has told them it will be used in court so they are terrified. So, if you are not doing anything wrong and your behavior is appropriate why would you be concerned? As a parent, take the notes to court, just get my kids help…
So today, one of the greatest days of my life I sit missing the two people I wanted more than anything in the world. Happy birthday, I love you two and I hope this is over soon.
| BIRTHDAY CHAIN |
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Chris: Done arguing with you, and I can not make it any clearer nor do I have the time to spend writing and rewriting the same info. I have a job, and your constant barage of emails coupled with changing your mind every week about pick up, drop off, clothes, no clothes, etc creates a problem for both my employer as well as my brain and blood pressure. You moved to Chandler to be closer to your work and, per your filings with the court, your family for support and help. So you’re telling me that you can’t, between 4 of you and 4 vehicles, find a way to get 2 kids to activities? Weird given you can take your puppy for shots, make it to a pizza party, go out dancing with your wife and fit in lunch/dinner at a favorite restaurant downtown after lingering over coffee & croissants with friends and then a haircut and shave at a downtown barber… Your move to Chandler hasn’t been presented as a problem to the courts: It’s your failure to participate or parent since said move. Parenting is not always easy, and in the BEST INTEREST OF THE KIDS, we are supposed to have Joint Custody and Joint Parenting. If you “choose not to participate” as you stated below, then that’s a violation of said custody order. More than that? It HARMS YOUR KIDS!!!!! So I’m going to keep this short and sweet: This is what is on “my board”: A) I have them taken care of this weekend, per your previous email. You can pick them up as per my previous email on Sunday at 2. B) Moving forward, you pick them up each Friday after school. As stated MULTIPLE times, you have their schedules for football and Cross Country. If you choose to take them, you know where they need to be; if you choose not to, then take it up directly with your children and their teammates and coaches. C) If you do not pick them up on your scheduled Fridays, you have given up your weekend with them and no alternative arrangements will be made. Exception, also stated multiple times, is if you send me in advance a copy of your complete travel itinerary for work at least 7 days in advance. D) You will need to drop off their gear to my office each Monday at 8. You can drop it off to Sonya at the front desk; or to our Building Security Guard. You may also drop it off to the house, behind the gate, but again: If it gets stolen, you’ll be responsible for replacement. I’m glad to hear you’re seeing a therapist. If he/she would ever like to get my input or “side” (as mine did with you), please feel free to have him/her call me. -Christa On Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 9:57 AM, Chris Lawcock Christa, Sorry for the confusion. I can see where after multiple e-mails saying I will not be running around because of the choices you’ve made would lead you to believe that when I say I’ll take the kids (meaning for the weekend) it meant to all the activities you’ve planned. Bearing in mind that there are two different events at two different places that are eighteen miles apart from each other (the closest being over thirty miles from our home) and both of them need to be dropped off by 8:00. I know that my move to Chandler has been presented as problem to the courts but seeing as how I am now four miles from my job and T is five miles from hers and we have a household to financially support our move makes perfect logistic sense for our busy work schedules. As for misguided hatred. Sorry, but I disagree. When you actually decide to co-parent, choosing to balance all of our lives (rather than just your own) and requirements you will find I am quite reasonable, as I always have been. There is such a thing as parents who actually do co-parent making decisions together. Unfortunately I have not been afforded that luxury due to the fact that I moved on with my life and you did not “approve” of my decision. Since you continue along with your controlling and dictatorial behavior I will do exactly what I am doing: Choosing not to participate. It’s a very non-violent and reasonable way to behave. Since the last e-mail seemed to work so well. I will continue with the same format. As for the kids and their extracurricular activities there are two options on the board: A. You will take them every weekend to their specified activities and I will pick them up afterwards. B. I will pick them up on Friday after school and they will miss every other weekend’s events. Also, there is a lot of hatred in your e-mail, I hope you make sure to censor yourself with the kids. I would hate to hear about another incident (there have already been more than I care to count ) where you read excerpts from our exchanges or paraphrase your particular view to the children. It puts them in the middle and they feel terrible about it. With the exception of dealing with your constant barrage of negativity I am quite happy with my life. Our home is very peaceful something I have always wanted for myself and for Sam and Max but was unable to offer until just over three years ago. What I am not happy with is how our kids have been treated throughout this whole process. Sadly even my therapist tells me that the abuse, manipulation and parental alienation that you heap upon our children is survivable for them. For their sakes I certainly hope so. Regards, CHRIS LAWCOCK VICE PRESIDENT OF SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender by reply e-mail and immediately delete this message and any attachments. This message and any attachments are solely for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged or confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, use or distribution of the information contained herein is prohibited. In the event this document(s) contains technical data within the definition of the International Traffic in Arms Regulations or Export Administration Regulations, it is subject to the export control laws of the U.S. Government. Transfer of this data by any means to a foreign person, whether in the United States or abroad, without an export license or other approval from the U.S. Department of State or U.S. Department of Commerce, is prohibited. Thank you. From: christa.lawcock@gmail.com [mailto:christa.lawcock@gmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, September 05, 2012 7:50 AM To: Chris Lawcock Cc: Christa-Gmail Subject: Re: Kid’s birthday You are impossible. Do you even read your own emails? Last email said you would take them to both their activities, I make an exception, and now? Its either I do it all or THE KIDS get nothing. But stupid me: I still think you have the capacity to put your misguided hatred for me aside and put your kids first. I think this ought to override at all times, but you can’t even do it on their birthday. Wow! So here’s where I am at: I have cancelled our trip, & will keep the kids. I will do it all, as always. You can pick them up at 2 on Sunday. In the future? You pick them up on Friday from school, and you take them to their activities on Saturday. Or you don’t, & you deal w them, their team-mates, & their coaches. Very simple. Only exception will be 7 day advanced notice with a work travel itinerary. Otherwise it is agreed you are giving up your parenting time for that weekend. Done with your crazy bull shit & insane demands. I am not yours to yank around, & your kids? Deserve better. Get help. Sent from my itty bitty touchpad so please! Pardon the brevity but do enjoy the typos! ________________________________________ From: Chris Lawcock Date: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 14:07:37 +0000 To: christa.lawcock@gmail.com Subject: RE: Kid’s birthday Christa, I’m sorry, apparently this turned into a negotiation. It’s not. There are two choices on the option board over here: A. You take the kids on Friday and Saturday and have a blast on your year for their Birthday. B. I pick the kids up on Friday and they spend their weekend over here. I won’t take them to anything on Saturday. Either one of these is just fine. So pick one. As to the rest of your e-mail. Why bother? You know exactly how you “budgeted” last year and so do I. Until you are honest with yourself, there is nothing more to say or discuss. In the future, plan on being very busy Friday and Saturdays for the foreseeable future. I did not agree to any of this. My requests regarding activities have been obscenely simple and always ignored. I won’t interfere with your choices, I never have, I just won’t participate in them. Regards, Chris Lawcock VP of Software Development From: christa.lawcock@gmail.com [mailto:christa.lawcock@gmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, September 04, 2012 7:54 PM To: Chris Lawcock Subject: Re: Kid’s birthday “Working with you” seems to mean “Do whatever I say whenever I say it.” Hop, hop, hop, jump, jump, jump… You seem to be under the misguided notion that I put the kids in activities without any regard to any thing or any one. Your kids are 13: they are choosing to participate in activities they are interested in. They work within the parameters of our time constraints and our financial restrictions and at all times are conscientious of the limits of our decree. and while the decree was based on a budget set by you & agreed upon multiple times, you haven’t paid the past 2 years. I had budgeted for my portion, and then found a way to pay the remaining. Which isn’t easy or fair: Amazing how you always seem to have money for Switch or AJs, but not for the activities agreed to. It’s the same w time: I budget accordingly, and while I’d rather be on a mountain hiking or sleeping in or whatever, I use the time in the car to talk w my kids, listen to my kids, sing and be a dork w my kids. Just knowing I’m sitting there makes a huge difference to them. I’m really sorry you can’t see how much that means to them. With regards to this weekend: why don’t you take Max on Friday and to football Saturday. I can keep Sam Friday, take her to her meet Saturday, and Hannah can spend the night here instead of at your place and then Sunday we can meet? I’ll even drive to Starbucks. Please let me know by tomorrow. And in the future? I will be sticking to my previous emails. So unless you get me travel itinerary in advance, you’ll be responsible for Friday-Monday & should plan accordingly, be it w your time, schedule, or the kids and coaches and teammates. Sent from my itty bitty touchpad so please! Pardon the brevity but do enjoy the typos! ________________________________________ From: Chris Lawcock Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2012 16:42:26 +0000 To: Christa Lawcock Subject: RE: Kid’s birthday Christa, First, this version does not contain their Birthdays or schedule. That was in that other abomination you attempted to suggest was agreed upon. Either way as with all other holiday’s the ODD/EVEN is based on the calendar year, as with all other holidays. This year is 2012 it’s even and last year I had them. Your year, hope that is not too confusing. I can in fact not agree to ridiculous or absurd choice made by you. That is in fact one of the corner stones for divorcing you, if you won’t work with me, I won’t participate. You have elected to push your agenda, these extracurricular activities even though I have made it very clear I am not in agreement with the locations or distances. There are plenty of activities that would fall between our two homes and you have elected to support zero of them. It’s important, it puts a hardship on my family as a whole and while you may not be concerned with it, I am. You violate the parenting agreement when it suits: Alaska, Fourth of July and school placement. Then seek justification after the fact and it just won’t work with me. As you I am sure are aware I am currently without an attorney, can’t afford much on my $50k a year. The difference, I don’t lie to get what I want. I don’t force, or coerce and I will not be coerced by you. The kids indeed don’t deserve your manipulation, but I unfortunately chose you and then after I could take no more abuse I divorced you and you’ve gotten nothing but worse…. So figure out what you are going to do, this weekend because it is their birthday I will make an exception and will take them. From here on out be prepared to follow through with what you promised the kids: Football, Track and whatever else. You promised them, not me, I don’t have the resources you do. Let me know for sure that you don’t intend to follow through and take them like you should. Unlike you, I don’t promise everything and expect others to take care of it. Regards, CHRIS LAWCOCK VICE PRESIDENT OF SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender by reply e-mail and immediately delete this message and any attachments. This message and any attachments are solely for the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged or confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, use or distribution of the information contained herein is prohibited. In the event this document(s) contains technical data within the definition of the International Traffic in Arms Regulations or Export Administration Regulations, it is subject to the export control laws of the U.S. Government. Transfer of this data by any means to a foreign person, whether in the United States or abroad, without an export license or other approval from the U.S. Department of State or U.S. Department of Commerce, is prohibited. Thank you. From: Christa Lawcock [mailto:christa.lawcock@gmail.com] Sent: Tuesday, September 04, 2012 9:07 AM To: Chris Lawcock Subject: Re: Kid’s birthday Chris: The children are not a ball you can simply take home when you want, leave when you don’t. You chose to change the parenting time because your “schedule will no longer accommodate their school.” The Joint Resolution Statement states that Max is in football and Boy Scouts, Sam is in Chorus and another activity. And look: Max? Still in Boy Scouts, still in football. Sam? Still in Chorus (though she goes during school so as not to inconvenience you) and Cross Country (otherwise known as her “other activity”). The responsibility to transport them and pay for it? It’s shared, as per the JRS. I AM meeting my obligations to my children, and I ask that you do the same. As to their birthday: Again, please review the JRS (I’ve even included it here for ease). It’s their thirteenth birthday. Their ONLY thirteenth birthday in their lives. They have given up far too much in this divorce, and they do not need any more disappointment. So if you don’t want them, fine; I’ll take care of it all, and you can pick them up on Sunday at our convenience. I really don’t know how I can make this any clearer to you, and this is really getting old. Perhaps you should discuss it with your attorney? On Tue, Sep 4, 2012 at 8:40 AM, Chris Lawcock Christa, You are not chasing me down. You are meeting your obligations to your children, obligations you made, that I did not agree to. I gave up my parenting time this year, my only contribution to your ridiculous schedule of activities, if you are not going to follow all the way through with these activities (i.e. delivering the children to the required events) then there was absolutely no point in how I quietly gave up my week with my children for their activities. Your birthday year, your activities, your responsibility. Make it happen! If you don’t, I will simply go back to the normal parenting schedule found in the parenting agreement. If you are not going to honor your words to your children then I will not sacrifice my time with them for some half-hearted promise by you. Are we clear? Come up with a time on Sunday that works for an exchange. If you are not committed to these activities then you should never have offered them to Max and Sam. Why you continue to attempt to force your agenda is beyond ridiculous and I grow weary of it. Chris Lawcock VP of Software Development —–Original Message—– From: christa.lawcock@gmail.com [mailto:christa.lawcock@gmail.com] Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 9:00 PM To: Chris Lawcock Subject: Re: Kid’s birthday Per my emails last week: “I will not continue to chase you down to find you. Pickup as per your instructions are every other Friday after school, with drop off every other Monday to school. If you can not pick them up on Friday, you will need to give me at least 7 days notice; and unless you are out of town (a copy of the travel itinerary will need to be provided), then no alternative arrangements will be made, and your failure to pick them up on Friday will be construed as your giving up your parenting time. If you choose to not take them to their scheduled activities, you will need to explain it to them and their coaches/teammates accordingly. Otherwise, you have the schedules for both football as well as cross country, and will need to plan accordingly.” No such travel itinerary has been provided, so Either deal w it or, as stated previously, make arrangements or take the responsibility with the kids and coaches. Pickup remains on Friday after school.” And finally: It’s their birthday. It’s your parenting time. Thé birthday is not a day that is set up as an Either/Or day. Thé JRS states: “Thé children shall spend time with Christopher and Christa.” Because it’s your scheduled parenting time, and because you’ve made it clear you will not spend any time with me present, I backed out and made alternative arrangements. Sam gave an idea of what she wanted: If that’s not something you’d like to do, then take it up w her. Sent from my itty bitty touchpad so please! Pardon the brevity but do enjoy the typos! —–Original Message—– From: Chris Lawcock Date: Tue, 4 Sep 2012 03:33:37 To: christa.lawcock@gmail.com Subject: RE: Kid’s birthday Christa, So it’s your year, even and YOU have scheduled one child to be in Goodyear and the other to be in Glendale? Both at 8:00am or earlier? Eighteen plus miles apart and that’s not even counting the trip time from my home?!?!? I’m broke, didn’t agree to this insanity and won’t be participating in any of it. I think you should keep them and take them to their extracurricular activities on Saturday. These activities were important enough for me to lose my parenting time, they are important enough to supersede their birthdays. As an added bonus, you will get them, as you should on their birthday for this even year. Why don’t we arrange for a Sunday pickup say around Noon at Starbucks? And for the record, we wouldn’t ever plan a birthday party for them across the street from your house when we live in Chandler. Sam said very clearly you were planning a birthday party for them at Encanto park, there was no confusion in her statement, nor was she splitting the difference. She was certainly engaging in wishful thinking. Regards, Chris Lawcock VP of Software Development —–Original Message—– From: christa.lawcock@gmail.com [mailto:christa.lawcock@gmail.com] Sent: Monday, September 03, 2012 11:34 AM To: Chris Lawcock Subject: Re: Kid’s birthday Chris: The kids’ birthday falls on your day w them. Per the Joint Resolution Statement, “Chris plans party in all ODD years, Christa has even.” In the past, we had done the parties together, and while you may want to pin the “because of your filings” argument on me, I’ll repeat: this is not about you and me, it’s about our kids. I’ve been trying to settle this w you on a monthly basis for nearly 2 years, still welcome you and your family to events, but because of your behaviour and hostility and your choice, you have made it clear to them and me that under no circumstances will you do anything together. As such, I told the kids whatever you decided w them to do on your weekend, I’d abide by it. And Actually from what she told me, she asked you if she could have a party at Encanto w her friends because she doubted you’d allow her and Max to have friends at your house. So this was to her a compromise, and this way, you wouldn’t even have to bring tables because I have some over here if you needed more than what’s at the park. I haven’t told, alluded or suggested anything to them. It’s your day w them both in terms of the actual day as well as the filing. Max has a football game, Sam has a cross country meet, and I assume anything I want to do w them will have to be done on my week. And I’m fine w that. As to todays call from Max: he was simply calling to say hi & see how you were doing and to tell you he was thinking about you and loved you. He does that. He’s a good kid. Same w your daughter. Both take time out of their days to call you & try to build a relationship w you. It’s pretty painful to watch, I might add: hopefully you start reciprocating that. Sent from my itty bitty touchpad so please! Pardon the brevity but do enjoy the typos! —–Original Message—– From: Chris Lawcock Date: Mon, 3 Sep 2012 18:14:20 To: ‘christa.lawcock@gmail.com’ Subject: Kid’s birthday Christa, There seems to be some confusion this year on the kids’ birthdays. Last year I had them, so technically this is your year. Further, Sam had already made enquires as to if we would be willing to attend their birthday party at Encanto park. We told her that unfortunately due to your filings and the encounters from the past we would be unwilling to subject ourselves to any situation involving you. So now, last night I received the first phone call from my daughter inquiring if she could have Hannah over for her birthday this coming weekend. This morning I received a call from Max and from what I could make out he was excited to becoming over this weekend. So I would like clarification on exactly what is going on. This is your year, since I had them last year, what have you told, suggested or alluded to the children regarding their birthday? Thanks, Chris Lawcock VP of Software Development |
| EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY CHAIN |
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8/5/2012 Christa, I will never have another verbal conversation with you without an independent third party who can be called to testify. I would never subject myself to another opportunity for you spin, twist or otherwise misrepresent any interaction. Your last filing states very clearly that my entire family has been verbally abusive to you, yet no one has spoken a word to you in well over a year, with good reason. How that’s possible? I’m not too sure. I digress. As noted in the e-mail you have already broached and discussed the subject of chorus, basketball and track with Sam. You have encouraged all of them with her as good ideas and have laid the ground work for me to be the bad guy. I understand CLEARLY the last time you did this was on the day of the custody evaluator just before Sam went in to talk with him. Remember? When she called me on the way there to ask if she could go back to chorus. So let’s just review: Sam has attempted chorus twice, both times she has quit. The first when she acted out so badly with me during orientation because she didn’t want to have to give up her Saturday for “this”. Unlike your court filings, I have never been a disinterested Father, I used to take her to the majority of these functions. If she was in touring chorus she would have additional financial burdens so she would on top of all the practice be selling door to door, or I suppose you could just fund it. Again, you have had this information, I have given my point of view on this, school and pretty much everything. Nothing has changed, nor will it. Like the last fifteen years, you will do whatever you wish and everyone else will pay the price. Again, football , sounds great, except for the child with the largest learning deficit being exhausted physically every week and trying to struggle through an advance placement school. As long as you aren’t looking too closely at the situation and all the facts it sounds good — except it’s not good. You have never once in our entire relationship done anything to lessen the stress on anyone but yourself. That’s a harsh fact. You can talk all you want. You didn’t pull Sam out when she was losing it, she had to blow up and have a fight. You didn’t step into the breach to make more money, you spent and I was supposed to earn; to the point my parents still bitch about when you told them I had to get another job to cover the bills. Again I digress. Your doctor does not have a Mesa location, call them. Further, you aren’t doing me any favors by scheduling them on your weeks. You do not speak for the kids. You do speak clearly to them, lobbying them regularly. I am sure they are absolutely terrorized by going to the therapist. YOU SHOWED SAM THE PAPERWORK FROM CPS FILED WITH THE COURT AND TOLD HER YOU KNOW! You also told Max and Sam I was going to USE Dr. Marshall’s notes in court. You shared a private discussion with Dr. Yee and the two of us with Sam. You’ve read Sam portions of my e-mails and text’s to you out of context. Tell me if you told people these four things would they still think you’re a good person? No one has been able to protect the children from what you do. It’s sad but it’s the truth. We have already covered all of this in previous e-mails. Why do I bother? You have not covered the supplies or books for three years you are such a liar. I bought all their supplies for the first year, including brand new black $90 rolling back packs. Every year I have bought supplies and this last year I bought $200 backpacks. If you are referring to covering the extra costs associated with the school YOU chose, then yes, you should you picked it, you dictated it, you pay for it. You receive $3k a month to take care of you and the children. I simply no longer care to play. Stop lying, it’s not the sign of a good parent. You know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I have consistently offered my opinion and input. I have been the parent. I have never spoken to the children regarding my true feelings regarding you. Sam has come to me on multiple occasions telling me she keeps secrets for you and she can do it for me too. Why won’t I share things like you. You know why? Because I am a real parent. I really wanted my children, I am the one who wanted them. I have put them first to the detriment of myself. I could be divisive, enrolling them in activities around here, but that would mean violating YOUR parenting time and it’s not something I am willing to do. You have no qualms, you never have. What are we going to do? We aren’t going to do anything. You’ve unilaterally chosen this course of action, you’ve already proceeded and continue to lay the groundwork. I have not gotten to see my children in nearly a month. I spoke with a therapist regarding this situation, how troubling I found all the abuse and manipulation. You know what I was told: It’s survivable. It’s survivable, until you lose it and they are bloody and bruised, it’s survivable. She’s right, I spent $10k giving the children the chance to tell someone how they felt and what they have been through. They chose to stay where they are at, they protected their Mother and who can really blame them? With all the boogey monsters and negativity you presented, how could my silence and reassurance compete? I was clear to you and Dr. Yee during our meeting, I want resolution on custody, because you are not coparenting in the slightest. I loose nothing if you are given custody. My children do, but they will have to learn about that later and on their own. There are so many parents out there who want their children to have a healthy relationship with the other parent and wish the Father would be present in their child’s life. I have organized my entire life to support taking care of the kids 50% of the time while maintaining a high stress job. You are busy driving everything to tear it apart, it’s fascinating, sad, but I am past caring or struggling with this facet of my life. So I think it’s time to try something new: Your filing says you seek a change of custody and parenting time? I think it’s time that happens. From here on out, because you continue to setup contentious situations and time consuming activities even though it’s readily apparent the current academic work load is above Max’s threshold and close to Sam’s envelope, they are all yours. All good. I will see the kids every other weekend. That was they can focus on what is important: Extracurricular activities. Because running around a track, a football field or singing to strangers is going to improve their reports and math scores or make them feel more loved or appreciated. Since the courts and evaluators seem to be indifferent to parental alienation via extracurricular activities and arbitrary decisions, as long as they look good on paper. I think it’s time to stop fighting for common sense. So, now they can participate in all of these activities, because lord knows that time with a coach is preferable to equal time with their parents. Judging from Max’s comments earlier this week this will not come as a surprise to him. He seemed to be anticipating that he would not see me for a month. So I guess I will see them this Friday? LOL. Also, when all of these extracurricular activities create contention on Saturday, you know where Max has to be on one side of the Valley and Sam has chorus or track on the other side you let me know and I will pick which activity I want to participate in, it’ll be nice to have a choice for a change. This is the last e-mail of the weekend (Pretty good I am down to two e-mails per engagement, I am shooting for one or zero). Also, remember, when the children start to have outbursts because of exhaustion, you created this, so you need to keep your mouth shut and hands off, it’s not their fault. You gave them false opportunities. Regards, Chris Lawcock VP of Software Development Her response simple and happy: 8/4/2012 Chris: Please re-read my email. Or call and we can have an actual, adult conversation where the wants and needs of our kids come first. In the email, or if you’d speak w me and the kids, you’d see/hear that Sam would LIKE to be in Cross Country after school. This is something she is asking for and which, you may recall, the school highly encouraged for her. As I noted below, she also would LIKE to be in chorus. This was actually a huge argument between us: She’d really like to be back at Phx Children’s. She knew it would be a huge fight w you though, and while it is in our decree, because of the time and effort and cost (she’d undoubtedly be picked for the Touring Chorus this year), I strongly encouraged her to do school: It meets only one day a week, before school, & given Max has speech early, this would work better for all. Mind you: it was a total battle: She really feels strongly that Phx Childrens is a better program. I begged her to consider school because, quite honestly, I also don’t want her in a position where she feels that she has to fight w you or feel guilty for participating, which are both things she said to me this week as well as what she apparently said to Dr Yee (it’s in the report). Both kids know school comes first and foremost, always. If their grades go down OR the time, effort, or stress shows up, their extra curriculars go away. They had the lecture by me more than once last year and again a few times this year, and were adamant they could handle it. So while I know you want to paint me as some evil conniver, football and chorus are both items in the decree. And moreover, both are things the kids want to participate in, which are supported by their teachers & therapists. With regards to your other comments: Pediatrix has an office in Mesa, but it shouldn’t matter as I made his appointment on “my” week, and they go very rarely (usually 1 time a year) & I am always available to take them if something were to come up. You were “in charge” of getting second opinions for braces. You didn’t like the others, were comfortable w Dr Foreman, and so we chose him. Again, I can always take her, and again: you knew where the kids’ school, sports, and doctors all were located. You chose to move, not us; so I try to accomodate. I get beaten up and berated every time, and I’ve come to expect it. But I continue to offer because it’s for the kids. As to the therapist: the kids have told us both, plus Margaret and Dr Yee, they don’t trust therapy or want it. And given you haven’t taken the advice of the therapists, what’s the point? So I go back to my original questions from the email: I have purchased all the school supplies and books the past 3 years. What is the plan for this year? Bookstore is Wed and Thursday and then there is their supplies to consider. Also what is the plan for next week for Dr Foreman and for football, both practice and cert? Please let me know, and I really do hope we can stop all this too. It’s old for both of us, and it really is a waste of time, energy, and money. More than that? It’s not fair to our kids or even each other. Sent from my itty bitty touchpad so please! Pardon the brevity but do enjoy the typos! —–Original Message—– From: Chris Lawcock Date: Sun, 5 Aug 2012 01:24:03 To: christa.lawcock@gmail.com Subject: RE: Next week Christa, I really have no clue why you persist in asking what’s the plan when you have no intention of listening to any plan other than your own. Honestly, I am really quite tired of it. You went to Alaska without my permission, you cooperate on nothing, even simple obvious requests like a change of pediatrician, who does not have any offices except on the NORTH END of Phoenix. You won’t take the kids to a therapist and now your plan is enroll Sam in two after school activities when she had to go to tutoring for the entire year to be successful. You offer the children more to do without consideration for how much more effort it takes from them. Fascinating. What will your course of action be when it affects their grades and attitude? I will have to think on this, I really am tired of coping with this behavior on your part. Nothing new but damn it’s really old. Regards, Chris Lawcock VP of Software Development —–Original Message—– From: christa.lawcock@gmail.com [mailto:christa.lawcock@gmail.com] Sent: Saturday, August 04, 2012 11:29 AM To: Chris Lawcock Subject: Next week What’s the plan for next week? Max has football daily; Sam has Dr Foreman Friday; and Veritas has back to school bookstore wed and thursday. Football certification: pre cert is the 11th, regular\full cert is the 18th, times haven’t been set yet. First game is the 25th, per Coach Werner’s emails and the parent meeting this past Wednesday. School starts the 13th, so also need to know plan for school supplies and school in general. Sam wants to be on Cross Country, it starts Monday, w practices after school I think either Monday -Thursday or its M, W, and Thursday 330-5. She’d also like to do chorus, which meets before school 1 day a week. Thx for getting back to me. Sent from my itty bitty touchpad so please! Pardon the brevity but do enjoy the typos! |