Financial Costs Associated with Divorcing a High Conflict Personality

I returned to court for the third time in four years, yee-haw! Opposing counsel posed a question while I was on the stand: Have you ever taken a look at or totaled up the payments you have made to Ms. Lawcock? I sat on the stand and pondered this question, have I forensically totaled up the damage and destruction done by your client? No. No I have not. I stated clearly from the stand: “No”. I’m not sure what that answer did for his position, but for me I realized I need to attach an exact and specific amount. So here we are,  let’s forensically analyze what divorcing such a person has cost my family and myself. We’ll start with present day, pre court decision and then over time move back in history to see just how bad it was!
Let’s start with a basic snapshot of the income in our household.
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So it should be pretty obvious at this point that what I make for my household matters a lot. I will add, that in the past, Tanasha is the one who has saved this family from financial ruin, more on that later. Now let’s move on from the obvious to expenditures that go directly to the benefit of my Ex’s household.
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Now this is simply an evaluation of my income vs. the amounts in goods and services rendered to my Ex and her household. Technically the courts state that my wife’s income cannot be considered unless it represents a significant portion of the household income and if I am claiming that I make no income. I am not lucky enough to have a beautiful wife and be a “kept” man. A lot of these expenses I do not disagree with, I would happily provide health care for my children and child support. I totally disagree with paying my Ex’s health care, alimony and extracurricular expenses… Really? You can’t make due with 23% of my incoming going directly for child support? Of she can’t, when dealing with a high conflict personality their only two goals are to get you engage and make you pay. So opposing counsel, I think your client is at this very moment hurting my household greatly! Understand, I am aware of my culpability in this situation I attempted to make sure both households got of to a good start… I will never make this mistake again, remember if you are ever in this situation do everything to win, you can always be nice and give whatever you want after the battle in court is over. So you think that’s it? No not quite let’s look at the other “hidden” expenses associated with this situation. Please remember this is a much better financial position than when I was raped at the first trial, to achieve this “good” position I had to borrow and spend a great deal of money on legal fees and evaluators.
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Look at the above chart there are two expenditures that are directly related to surviving the initial rulings from the court: IRS and Legal. These are the last two unpaid off expenses associated with defending against bad rulings based on lies and half truths. Note to self: Never sign anything, no matter what you are told. This accounts for another 15% of my families combined income. Unadjusted that’s 11% from my income (my wife didn’t do anything to deserve this burden), so if you applied that to the original graph I current pay 63% of my income to my Ex, four years after divorce!
So that’s enough for now… I cannot say thank you enough to opposing counsel for making me reconsider looking at the hard numbers, in the past it would have been enough to make me blow a gasket, now it makes me realize how important our choices in life are. If you are getting divorced, no matter how much you want to save everyone — remember — save yourself first and then you can “help” the rest of the people in this situation.
 

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