So yesterday was a very cathartic experience for me at Dr. Marshall’s.
Dr. Marshall is supposed to be the kids therapist, the kids have determined she is next to useless because she does not give any helpful suggestions, she just listens.
I kind of get what they are talking about, this sweet old woman doesn’t remember crap from the previous sessions. I have told her who my attorney is about twenty times, the parenting time about a hundred times. None the less, sometimes it’s just nice to discuss all the stress without having someone offer direction.
I began by telling her about how my son says her Mom thinks that he is too forgiving to me. I still find this galling, even if I think their mother is beyond redemption, she is still their mother and she does do somethings right. Marshall was appalled, of course she didn’t have a solution for me. That’s alright, there isn’t one, I get it.
I moved on to Sam who I told her I worry about her change of attitude. I told her about the family talk and how Sam had intimate details about the evaluation and even the discussion between Dr. Yee, Christa and myself. Dr. Marshall suggested that perhaps Sam had not heard it from her mother, rather she over heard it… Perhaps her Mom was talking on the phone? I thought that sounded very reasonable, so I asked Sam to come in to discuss it. Sam, none to happy to be talking to the person she feels has not offered her any advice related to her situation, sits down in a huff. I start the conversation by mentioning, you remember the time when you told me about your Mom yelling at the CPS boss and that she was going to get Sandie the CPS person fired? She looks at me and says, no, Mom doesn’t yell… Any more…. My jaw drops, I say, uhhh, ok so you would say she was what then talking loudly? Sam: Yes. Ah, ok so she was raising her voice? Sam: Yup. I understand Mom now, she doesn’t yell. I say oh, ok, so she just raises her voice? Sam, Yes Dad! (Rolls eyes). Oh, okay, anyway, so you know how you over heard your Mom talking to CPS? Sam, yes…. So did you hear about the evaluation the same way? Sam: No, Mom told me, she doesn’t keep secrets from me. She has promised to always tell me everything. Oh, ok (Oh my god really? Why on earth….). So she told you about the evaluation extension directly then? Sam, yes, she said you had your attorney ask for more time to drag this out. Ahh I see…. So then she also told you about our conversation with Dr. Yee? Sam, yes, she told me that Dr. Yee said you both talk to us too much (I find it fascinating that she can repeat all of this, but doesn’t process that Dr. Yee, someone she likes, says the kids know too much, but she thinks it’s just fine that Mom has promised to tell her everything). Then you told Dr. Yee that you don’t tell us anything and he said then the kids are liars. You say to him no that’s not what I am saying. I just don’t talk to them. Dr. Yee says either they are lying or you are talking to them. Then you called Dr. Yee a liar! Uhhh, Sam, I never called Dr. Yee a liar, I simply said I don’t talk to you two and since we could reach an agreement I just left it alone. By the way Sam, when have I ever talked badly or about your mother to you? Sam looks down her nose at me glaring, really Dad? Yes Sam, really…. Sam, You know….. No, really I don’t please, enlighten me. Sam, the e-mails? The e-mails? What e-mails? Sam, the ones you wrote to Mom? You mean the ones I wrote to Mom that she showed you? Sam, yes! They were written on your weeks? (Bemused) So, I talked about your Mom, to your Mom, via e-mail and she shows you them and that’s how I talk to you. Sam, sighs, yup…. Oh alright, well thanks baby. I turn to Dr. Marshall. See? What am I supposed to do. Marshall just shakes her head. Time is up. I feel better, even if nothing comes of it.
I wan’t my babies safe. That’s all I have tried to do and I feel like I am continuously getting my ass kicked because I won’t fight dirty.
This morning, I tell Sam her mother is taking her to the dentist, she seems surprised and freaked by it. I say if it bothers you that much I can take you if you really want. Sam immediately text’s her Mom. I take her a bit later. She immediately goes ballistic and starts threatening me with billing me for half the day and mental duress and tops it off with parental alienation. Well, I looked up parental alienation, given last weeks nastiness and the comments about you shouldn’t be so forgiving to your Dad and that lovely voice mail from Sam, I would say someone is projecting a bit…
Oh I just want this to stop…. It doesn’t have to be this hard… How and the hell do I help?!?!?!?