Why Aren't You Here?

So yesterday evening around 5:30pm my night starts with a few texts from my son:
Your a fucker
sorry about that im just angry with you right now
Me:
That’s alright your grounded here! Thanks!
So that’s always refreshing, I mean really whose son doesn’t send texts like this out of the clear blue?
Well there are a few things I guess that can be said about his communication:
1. He’s mad.
2. He’s mad at me.
3. He wouldn’t be texting me like that if he were scared of me.
4. He’s over at his mothers all week and hasn’t talked to me except to asking me to drive books somewhere in his room over to his school. (Which I specifically said I would not do, but I did make arrangements with the school)
Look on the bright side, he wants to engage me. I guess that’s good right?
So my son Demond (Mr. Sunshine, he’s a low functioning autistic who is very OCD but in general very sweet) decides to have a huge outburst, my lovely wife who has been coping with this stuff for 18 years calms him after 30 minutes of it her mood is dour, who can blame her? I decide to go get some needed groceries and offer to grab dinner. I take Anderson with me, he’s fourteen a great kid. When we hop into the car Anderson says he just can’t understand why if Max and Sam love each other they act so negative and fight so much. I tell him look son, don’t worry about it — it’s not worth it. Being negative is like a disease, an infection it can spread and if you spend a lot of time trying to figure out why someone is doing something negative and they have no reason to be that why it’s just going to drag you down too. So do me a favor and remember you can’t help them by becoming negative fretting over why someone acts like that. He looks like he sort of gets it, but it’s a pretty abstract concept. We grab the groceries and then run over to our favorite Chinese restaurant. Anderson say I think I got this figured out, there are two factions in the game the light side and the dark side and they have special powers and abilities, you just have to choose which is right for you. I look at him and smile, yeah that model works for me. I think that’s a good approach.
So because the day can’t possibly end without something going on it’s time for the Christa show!
Christa:
Are you coming tonight?
Me:
Why? Would I be doing that?
Christa:
For your kids?
Me:
I did not say I was picking the kids up?!?!?! Where would you get this idea?
Christa:
Its the school ceremony, was hoping you’d be here
Me:
I did not receive a notice or invite. So of course I won’t be there. Too bad I am sure Tom and Kathy (My parents) would’ve love to go
Christa:
It’s in every school announcement for 3 months, every Friday email for 3 months, the school calendar, etc.
(Well gee, can’t see where your headed with this can we? Of course I don’t get any school announcements and the e-mails I remember, I never saw anything about an event for 6th graders)
Me:
I don’t read the e-mails past the headlines and I don’t get announcements.
Christa:
They are all on email and in the planner too.
(Ahh so now you are saying they are all on e-mail… And a planner? What planner? Would’ve been too hard to use the Google calendar as I suggested. But really this isn’t about making sure I am there as much as trying to establish I am either an idiot, don’t care or specifically ignoring my kids…Which never happens, because I was the one who wanted children)
Me:
Didn’t make it into my schedule.
(Just to check to see if I am an idiot, I check the e-mails they all say 8th grade commencement ceremony…. Hmmm….. Yeah… Doesn’t apply to me.)
Me:
All the emails I have say 8th grade. Not 6th. But I am sure you’ll do just fine.
Christa:
If you’d read past the headline it also says its an all-school awards ceremony and all are required to attend. Its also a 6th grade milestone, they are now in jr. high. Kind of a big thing.
(Not to belabor the obvious, but didn’t I just say I don’t read past the headlines? I am a VP, I am continuously busy with business and family. I would love to say I am so bored I read news letters from school, but lets be real I don’t. Further, my children didn’t mention this once or bring home a flyer.)
Christa:
I wish you were here & could see what an amazing community & school they are in & to enjoy what they enjoy. They miss the Dad you were & you’re missing out too.
(I bet they do, I spent a great deal of time protecting them and making sure you didn’t loose it. Funny though, consider you call me abusive in court and acted like I was never taking care of my kids. Shit, I remember the days… You would pick them up at 3:30, by the time I got home at 6:30 you’d throw them at me and say take the kids I’ve been with them all day.)
Me:
Well this works out well for you its inline with your portrayal of me in court and to everyone that who will listen. You keep talking about how they miss me and how I WAS a great Dad. How is that possible if I was so terrible to you? Those two things do not go hand in hand. Logic is a funny thing. Needless to say I know who I am and how I have lived I am done worrying about it. I am good with being the bad guy its the role you’ve been setting up since I left. Funny thing is with the exception of all the negativity we have to deal with I have never been happier. Enjoy your school. Please do not text me anymore.
Christa:
It’s not my school. its theirs. & I continue to make excuses for ur behavior. It gets old but its the right thing to do for them. As to your happiness, good for you. I know the truth of what we had & your words? Same as they were to me. It doesn’t hurt me. it hurts them. Hope you get help and figure it out.
(So lets go through this, first its their school? No, it’s the one you picked you WANT to be right. It’s the school that you told them is NOT harder than any other school, but in reality, it’s advanced placement. You make excuses for my behavior? Uhhhh okay so then why do I get the impression your excuse for tonight is not going to be: Your Dad didn’t know about the ceremony! He’s so disappointed! My words don’t hurt you they hurt my children? So the text I send to you will be read by my children? Interesting, well actually already proven to be true, Sam said it herself Mom lets me read your texts and e-mails!)
So that was yesterday! The future is always brighter!
Today from Max:
ill miss you and sorry for what I called you yesterday
My response:
Have fun son no matter what I love you I hope you can remember that. :*
(I am soooooo very tired of my son feeling so conflicted. There is no reason for it…)
Today from Sam:
Sam:
R we going to comicon on Monday?
Me:
Nope. Tanasha gave the tickets back. There are no rewards here for negativity.
Sam:
Ok
(Damnit! I hate being a parent sometimes! But you can’t lash out all last week keep going into this week and expect rewards….. GRRRRRRR! Baby Comicon! Special guest passes from McFarlane! Damn Damn Damn!)
This weekend, is going to be wonderful! My loving hot wife got us rooms here in town a little staycation with just the four of us. No drama, no hassles, no worries. Yet in the end I am missing my two babies, I want them whole again, especially in mind…
No matter what, I am here waiting for you two….