So my morning starts out… Bad…
I get a call that I miss from Samantha while I am downstairs getting everything ready to go.
Then I get a text…
Sam:
Where will we be going and who will we be going and who will be going with? is it really just u and me alone? no anderson or tanasha?
(What?!?!? I have not said we would be doing anything. Her mother sent an e-mail engaging me as always. Which I find beyond reprehensible.
Place fear in doubt in child and shake well and then volunteer to sacrifice your time with your child this weekend so she can get some alone time with me.
I did not respond to her e-mail, so there should not be a text bright and early in the morning in this context. I used to give in, because I did not want my children to feel bad.
I would often throw everything into disarray following through with an agenda or plan cooked up by Christa and fed to the kids before it got to me.
I don’t do this anymore, no matter what I do I end up loosing. So after reviewing all of the negativity and bad behavior from the last couple of weeks I returned her text.)
Me:
We aren’t going anywhere your mother has told you something that is untrue. Nor will I reward or support bad behavior. I love you. Have a good week.
Sam:
But yesterday u. told her you said.
(Now this just kills me. So now yesterday — yesterday I didn’t respond, nor would I. But you know something of yesterdays exchange and what your Mom’s plan is/was and you were excited about it. I find this despicable offer hope and then let me dash her against my predictability. Nice. You know I would not accept your offer, you know I do not want to engage and that I prefer the children talking with me on my weeks. You also know, because I’ve told you we go out primarily on the weekends we don’t have kids. It’s a three day weekend — nice)
Me:
No I did not and I only talk to your Mom via email for just that reason. Your mom is saying that’s what she want to do. Not what I said I do.
Sam:
I don’t believe it she is wanting us to have alone time and you say no! Wow Dad just wow
(My dear little girl… Your Mom has a very controlling and broken methodology and I am starting to see a lot of it showing up in your behavior and attitude. God damn it hurts so much.)
Me:
Wow is right you should talk to an independent third party and see what they think about an ex wife and a daughter setting an adults schedule. Most would find it extremely odd. Wow is right.
(Time for a shower and get ready for work)
While I shower I get:
1. one hang up voice mail
2. a follow up voice mail
(I really love that my daughter is being yelled and swore at in the background… But ask Sam, her Mom doesn’t yell or swear, she just raises her voice.)
3. another frantic follow up
So here’s my little girl, who is busy telling me what an idiot she is and that she got it totally wrong and it’s not her Mom’s fault.
Baby, you didn’t get anything wrong, you were excited and were being talked to by a person who is in my opinion wallows in other misery. You my little girl once said that very thing: Mom is happiest when other people are miserable. Indeed.
Me:
Sorry I was in the shower. Sam its OK and not your fault. Good luck on finals.
Sam:
Hey dad I wanted to spend alone time i asked if we could have alone time with you she said I doubt it so I wad bieng such a idiot that what i did was bielive it was you I asked if it would be just you and me she said no in fact i doubt it so it had nothing to do with me. nothing to do with mom. sorry for the trouble
(Right baby. Totally makes sense. You asked your Mom if you could have alone time with me (because she schedules my time) and she told you that it would probably not be just you and me. Got it. No. Not really. What I have is a little girl who is scared shitless that I don’t love her, acting out and trying not to make Mom made. Damn I am so sorry I gave you this life. I love you so much and to have you suffer through this shit storm for no good reason just murders me.)
Me:
Sam I love you and you are neither an idiot and this problem is not your fault.
(Because no matter what, it’s not…. You did not make this situation)
Me:
Have a good day. I will see you next week.
So there you have it. Sam was wrong!