I don’t play games, well I do, video games. I like a good challenge. I do tease, I can readily admit that… Today I had Max and Sam’s dental checkup and cleaning. Christa sends me an e-mail last minute this morning about the last Boy Scout meeting of the year and it’s importance. I send her an e-mail:
Christa,
I have asked multiple times for you to schedule things at least a week in advance.
I have the kids dentist appointments today and tomorrow after school. I will shift spots for Max and take Sam today.
You may not have him all night. When he is finished with BS please meet us at the Starbucks, between our two homes.
Also, since this is occurring I would like the two skirts Tanasha purchased brought with you to the drop off.
They are the new size 16 or 18.
Thanks in advance,
So, of course she responds:
Chris:
Thank you, I will see if the skirts are at our house. To be clear, I am picking him up from school today and meeting you around 830 at Starbucks? Please confirm.
Also, please note that I had sent you the entire years worth of calendar events for the Boy Scouts months ago. You confirmed you had it. The meetings and events are not something I schedule nor does Scouts run them by me. Scouts is important to him, and if it wasn’t the last meeting and the only time he could get his merit badge, I would not ask.
Alright, so 8:30pm he will be at Starbucks. No problem! Not! So sitting at Starbuck at text rolls in at 8:40pm:
Christa (8:40): They are running behind, he’s still in his Board review.
Me (8:42): You could not inform me of this at 8:30? You can drop him off at our home.
Christa (8:50): Scouts isn’t even out till 8:30! I informed you as soon as I got here. I can meet you at Starbucks or he can spend the night at my place.
(Ahh so you showed up 10 minutes after 8:30 — which made it impossible for you to meet your stated time)
Me (8:51): You said 8:30 Starbucks not me.
Christa (8:51): He’s still in review. And they have evening closing ceremonies still. Its a late night and he’s half asleep as it is.
(So, again you complain of bed grades being tired at school. You want him to succeed but you keep him out well past his bed time. While he is half-asleep)
Christa (8:51): No, you didn’t
Christa (8:52): That was no. I did not. You said after meeting and meeting ends at 8:30 normally.
(Ummmm…. Well I just went off your e-mail. I haven’t argued the point… I simply said drop him off at my house)
Me (8:52): I have email. Text me when he’s outside so I can open the door.
Christa (8:56): I will meet you at Starbucks or he can spend the night. Meeting just ended. I can be at Starbucks in 15 minutes.
(Uhhhh…. No you can drop him off at the front door at this point.)
Me (8:57): Try it and I call the cops.
(Now you wouldn’t even let your daughter come home with me after she ran away. But I should just wait a minimum of 45 minutes at Starbucks)
Christa (8:59): Starbucks as we agreed!
(We agreed Starbucks at 8:30! Not 9:15!)
Christa (9:02): I was at your home once, during the day, and have no clue how to get there. It is a safety issue as well. So Starbucks.
(Ummm…. Your a real estate agent with a smart phone and a tablet with GPS…)
Christa (9:02): Or he can spend the night, he’s exhausted. But he did get his merit badge!
(Yes, I think I mentioned my concern multiple times about all the extracurricular vs. school. But he got a merit badge! So when he gets angry or sleeps through math it’s all worth it!)
Me (9:04): All good documented and sent to the lawyer. Glad to hear he got a merit badge to be exhausted for school. You have your priorities straight. Meeting was at 8:30 per your email. See you in court.
(Yes, I am very irritated. Aside from this person continuing to engage in this sniping, nasty behavior I am happy. Cut out one person and my life really would be ideal.)
Christa (9:05): I had your permission and my priorities are my kids and communicating with you. So Starbucks or am I taking him home?
(Ok, so you have told the kids you plan on taking them to Italy this summer. You need my written permission, why on earth would I agree to this when you cannot even deliver a kid when you are late according to a schedule you set?)
Christa (9:07): Sorry let me be ckear: Starbucks of our home & I will take him go school in am?
(Firstly this is not clear, secondly, much like our life, I give an inch and you attempt to take a mile)
Me (9:08): You had my permission to take him and return him. You have exceeded the bounds of the agreement. We waited for 20 minutes. You did not show up. Good night.
Christa (9:09): So I’m taking him to school in am, great!
Me (9:10): That wasn’t my consent to your manipulation. We’re done.
Christa (9:11): Unfortunately you aren’t being clear so its simple Starbucks or I can take him home to my place.
(Actually, the beauty of e-mail and text is that it is very clear and critical when dealing with and individual such as yourself. I mean can you imagine if this was all verbal? No one would possibly believe me!)
Me (9:14): I was very clear you are an hour late I have 3 kids at home. Drop my son off. I am documenting all of this.
(I am and then some… You think your manipulation and sniping will go unnoticed… For a while, maybe it will, but long term there is a huge price to pay. Can’t lie, buy or cry your way out of the truth.)
Christa (9:14): Ok going home & getting him to bed. not safe to drive & text & be run around in circles.
(I think this is very telling. Her position is that she has been run around in circles. She has been harassed… Except she hasn’t been)
Christa (9:16): and you have a wife at home too, who can stay w kids. Who you leave home alone all the time btw. Seeing your wife has threatened me that if I was ever at your home shed call the cops and given my previous reasons, its Starbucks.
(Well that’s great justification for doing what you want. Sound like the last fifteen years. Nothing new here. You were told drop him off and text me… Not too hard… No conflict no issues.)
Christa (9:17): Now I am at home bc your texts were erratic. You want to call the cops or threaten w court, so be it. this is insane & unfair to our kids.
(So you made it from Indian School and 16th Street in 3 minutes? Ahhh…. Ok…)
You know, aside from this continuous attempt to engage me I am frigging happy…. I think that’s what makes it so the more irritating. After fifteen years of really trying, putting up with an insane level of crap… from one person… Laying it down was great! Feeling like I could leave it behind and get on with the best of life and then finding my soul mate just put it over the top. I love coming home to my family! It’s mellow. It’s simple. It’s good. I taught my son Anderson how to tie a tie tonight, it was a wonderful experience, feeling like he is becoming a man and getting to be a part of that. When everything is so bright that one last black spot just stands out. I so want this crap to come to an end… I am getting to the point where I believe my children may just have to endure her and hope they survive.