You Lack Conviction

As the drama continues…
My son has sent nice texts called me to have a nice chat.
It’s been nice.
When I responded to Man’s picture of a mountain cityscape a text from Sam arrives:
Dad/Chris, if you want to talk about it now we won’t talk about it at all. Your choice and I won’t agree but I will stop.
Now that disjointed text appears to be an ultimatum. I don’t do ultimatums. Nor will I talk further about the case. Dr. Yee made it clear that he felt the kids had too much info. I have clamped down even further. I don’t know that I agree. Now my daughter is left with half truths and assumptions. Here is my response:
You do whatever you want. I have always given you choices. Remember that. Also remember you can hurt people who love you with what you say and how you treat them. Make sure you know what you are talking about and I can assure you do not. Because if you did it would be obvious what is going on and why. When you are older we can talk about the case but by then you will already have lived long enough to see.
I finished my day off with a call from Max.
He was sweet, told me all about his day and how everything was going. He ended the call with being very curious about a surprise I have for them, because I had asked them this week what their favorite colors are… He knew I was getting him something, he still doesn’t know what. He says, Mom and Sam say you are getting us something because you are try to kiss our ass. What a sweet thing to say, as a father I can’t think of a less flattering thing to say, especially in light of what I am buying: New school back packs. Their current back packs and bags are tattered and torn… It’s time for somethings new, as with many things. None the less I tell Max, that I never kiss ass and what little I can do is always centered around taking care of my family. I leave it at that with Max… What else can I do? It’s easy for their Mom to cast dispersions, last year she made $81k and received even more from me in support — all told probably greater than $140k. Even with all of that, you can’t even be nice. Laughable, since your license plate is: BNICE.
Great Saturday, I can’t wait to see how Monday goes. I have always tried to separate my pain and this situation from my children. It kills me that she cannot even do the same.
In the end, my children know how I have treated them. That I have tried my best to leave them out of it. No matter what the out come, I have conviction that my choices were the right ones. My Ex — lacks conviction, she knows what she has done before and after the divorce…. Too bad she is not keeping the children isolated from it…. Sad… My kids don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve it.